I like to think of myself as an honest person. I’m terrible at lying, and really just prefer to tell the truth. Lies cause more stress than they’re worth to me.
That’s how I think of myself, and describe myself frequently.
It’s only a partial truth though.
Digging a little deeper into myself I can see that when asked a direct question I will either evade it, tell you the truth, or give you a deadpan sarcastic answer.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so deadpan, no one knows if I’m actually telling the truth.
Digging even deeper than that, I realize I actually can lie successfully if I’ve had time to rehearse it.
Now, I don’t typically do that sort of thing. The very thought of doing that makes me recoil a bit, but the point I’m trying to make is that the full truth usually ends up going so much deeper than the initial surface statements imply.
Which is probably true for everybody.
I’ve been realizing lately that we tell our truths as we understand them in that moment.
Which is okay.
There’s nothing we can do differently without first gaining a better understanding of ourselves, and I personally do keep a lot hidden underneath the surface.
I am constantly reflecting, and growing, and evolving.
We all are.
Or we all should be.
There’s just so much there the deeper you dig.
Why bother self-reflecting so deeply?
You’ll have to discover an answer to that for yourself, really.
For me though, I bother because knowing myself more deeply brings me closer to where I want to be in my life. I better understand what I want, and why, and can make decisions accordingly.
I bother because it helps me look back at things I regret in the past, and say “it’s okay”. It allows me to extend the understanding and forgiveness I need to be able to move past it, and grow from it. To understand that my past mistakes do not define me in this moment. To understand that I am human, and flawed, and always learning, and that that’s okay.
I bother because a better understanding of myself gives me a better understanding of the people around me. When I recognize that how other people respond to, and interact with me has so much to do with how they are, and so very little to do with how I am, it becomes easier to exist. To be myself as I am in each moment without worrying about someone else’s reactions to it.
All of these realizations free me to follow the path to my own happiness.
Which I can see more and more clearly every time I gain a deeper understanding of myself.
All of these realizations make it easier to love,
and we could really use a lot more love in this world.
They say if you want to change the world change yourself first, and the world around you will follow suit.
So this is how I’m choosing to live right now.
Dig deeper.
Learn more about yourself.
Then, find your path, and follow it.
It doesn’t have to look like mine or anyone else’s, but whatever it is I hope it brings you joy.
and if it doesn’t you’re always allowed to pick a different one.
💕✨
Gracefully Honest 