I have a habit of filling up all of my free time with friends, conversations, or various things to do. A big part of it is because I adore spending time with people I love. I think the other reason though, is then I don’t have to sit in my own head for very long.
When I have some time to myself all I do is self-reflect myself in circles.
I worry constantly. About everything, and everyone.
I’m trying to learn not to. To simply enjoy a little time to myself this morning with my coffee.
So far I’ve already thought of 10 different things I should get done before the work week starts up again. People I should message to ask this, or that. Housework I need to do.
Do I have any groceries I need to buy?
Don’t forget to call the dentist in the morning tomorrow!
I’d love to just be able to sit without my mind constantly shouting things at me.
It’s not that I don’t like being in my own head.
It’s just that it never shuts up.
If you have ever been having a conversation with me and then notice I look mildly confused, that’s just me pulling myself back to reality after getting stuck in my head, yet again. I was probably far away in there, so it takes a minute to come back to myself, process what you just said, and then formulate an appropriate response.
I find it a fascinating trait when I can sit and explore it.
It’s also an incredibly annoying one when I’m trying very hard to be present in the moment.
I suppose this blog, whatever else it is, is a way for me to express pieces of where I go when I disappear.
A way to bring myself back, and relate to others who do the same sorts of things.
Or maybe even just help someone understand that their absent minded friend may be thinking of a thousand and one things while processing your conversation, and simultaneously berating herself for not being able to fully focus on your words.
I’m sorry. Could you repeat that?
Anyways, now my coffee is cold so I’m going to stop writing this, go pop it in the microwave, and promptly forget it’s there… 😂
Stay present in the moment if you can, but whatever you do, stay you.
😊💕
Gracefully Honest 